guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
