And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
