Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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