Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
