btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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