And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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