i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
