This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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