Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I had to cum in my sink.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
