I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
