You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
