Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
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