would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
