this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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