she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
a search helicopter?!
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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