p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Randomize
