I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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