Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize