Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize