so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
