he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
