you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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