I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
