Tell her she can't have a vagina
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
