What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
