You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
