you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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