Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
