If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
