She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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