are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize