if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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