Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize