sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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