So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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