Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
