I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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