I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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