How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
