you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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