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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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