How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
