You're my little dorito
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
