My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
