Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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