We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
