hotel room ftw
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
