I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize