my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
NoShamevember. You game?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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