ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
