All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
