What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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