He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
