ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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