she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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