this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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