He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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