i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Be still, my beating vagina.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
