question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
