Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
