can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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