My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
