I think I am morally bankrupt
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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