Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize