Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
