They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
