Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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