There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
