He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize