you're like a bully in the Christmas story
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
