Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize