dude i'm inner monologue high
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
